I had a baby, relatively recently. And he's really cute. But he's on the outside now. And, my company has a free gym. And, they offer classes. And, I have a co-worker who signed me up for the daily calendar reminders of said classes. I have no more excuses.
Attempt 1: I'm PUMPED! I shaved my legs in the shower, I gathered up my super spiffy workout clothing, I have chosen a class to start with (yoga), I have carefully studied the class schedule to be sure I don't show up at the wrong time. I am psyched, ready, all systems are a go!
I excitedly announce my co-worker that TODAY I am going to start participating in the workout classes!
"Oh," she replies. "The instructor is out today."
Shit.
Attempt 2 (two weeks later): It's yoga day again. I love yoga, I'm sticking with this as my introduction to fitness classes. I'm invited to Body Sculpt with my co-worker, but NO, I want yoga! I give myself plenty of time to dress. I've got the whole locker room to myself. Nice! I saunter up to the gym, and enter as all the Body Sculptors come streaming out. Suckers, I think. Yoga is SO much better! I meet the instructor. She explains that she isn't sure anyone else is coming.
What? But what does that mean?
No class.
So there I stand, in my yoga pants and socks, waiting around like a fool for fellow yogaers that aren't going to come.
"Well, there's lots of machines to use," the instructor suggests apologetically.
Thanks. I didn't even bring shoes.
I trudge back to the now full locker room, and do my best to blend in. Maybe they won't notice that I was just in the gym and came back without doing anything.
Attempt 3: This is the day that the calendar invites start coming. Crap. It's on my calendar now. I can't ignore incessant reminders at 15, then 10, then 5 minutes before the start of class. I could have ignored the invite, but, well, I DO need to go. Okay. I'll go.
I show up to a locker room full of female co-workers that I don't know eyeing me with that familiar glare of "Who the hell are you?"
I get changed, head toward the gym, and realize that I didn't bring my badge to open the door. I stand awkwardly at the door waiting for the next gaggle of stranger co-workers to come through and let me in. I stare at the bulletin board as they walk past, as if I meant to do that.
It's a step class. I haven't been to a step class in years. I grab too many levels for my platform, despite warnings, and go about my business. Class starts. I'm dying! I don't know what I'm doing. Step left, scissor over, rotate back, Charleston left. WHAT have I gotten myself into.
At the end of class, I glare into the mirror at my tomato red face and think to myself back tomorrow?
Yes. I begrudgingly think back. Back tomorrow. It'll be on my calendar after all.
In Which She Writes Promises Her Blog Can't Cash
2 years ago
3 comments:
Yep........this sounds exactly like my first 3 attempts at yoga in my on-site gym. Exactly.
Great blog! :)
You seriously had me laughing all the way through this post! :)
Love it!! I got my daily dose of laughter from this
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